


Everyone you left behind

by smaragdbird



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Loki as Odin, M/M, Past Relationship(s), pretending to be dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6373936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sif, Hogun and Volstagg come to Odin and ask him to help Fandral who's mourning Loki's death and their past relationship.</p><p>Loki, who's pretending to be Odin, is surprised because he didn't think Fandral took their relationship so seriously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everyone you left behind

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this ](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/17613.html?thread=40406989#t40406989) prompt

Loki found it amusing how readily Volstagg, Hogan and even proud Sif knelt before him now. They followed Thor on his quest to protect the Nine Worlds and the less Loki had to deal with them the better. 

It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen Fandral in a while. Not since ‘Loki’s Funeral’. Thor’s testament had given him the excuse to make it appropriately grand for the late prince of Asgard. It also had been a convenient way to get rid of Odin’s body.

“Your Majesty”, as usual it was Sif who spoke for them. “We have come to you to ask for your help.”

“What can I do for you?”

“It is Fandral. Ever since Loki’s funeral he has locked himself in his rooms and refuses to eat or drink anything but the strongest wine.”

“Why would he do that?”

An uncomfortable look crossed Sif’s face. “He and Loki were…involved.”

Loki still didn’t see the point. True enough he and Fandral had had an arrangement back before Thor’s coronation but that had been purely about the sex.

“Despite everything that has happened he grieves for the man he has loved and lost”, Hogun added.

Loki was tempted to make him repeat that because he wasn’t sure he had understood him properly.

“Fandral and Loki?” He said, followed by a long silence that his father had often used to contemplate his next words. “What should I do according to you?”

None of them seemed to have thought this far. 

“Maybe you could talk to him?” Volstagg suggested. 

“He needs some kind of closure”, Hogun added.

Loki considered it. His fa – Odin would have done something if only because Fandral’s family was important and Fandral himself a capable warrior. 

“He had no part in Loki’s schemes. He fell for him long before any of us knew the truth”, Sif said and Loki was tempted to ask her what truth she meant.

“I assumed as much”, he said and gave her a scathing look. Sif’s eyes dropped to the ground in embarrassment. “I shall talk to Fandral when I find the time. You’re dismissed.”

///////////////

Despite everything his best intentions Hogun’s words haunted him throughout the rest of the day. It was true he and Fandral had slept together mostly because Fandral had been the only one of Thor’s friends he had been able to tolerate.

But love was something different altogether. 

They had never spoken of it of course. For Loki it had been a pleasant distraction and since Fandral had still flirted and charmed everyone within eyesight Loki had assumed he had seen their relationship the same way. Apparently he had been wrong.

Loki tightened the enchantments around himself until he was invisible to everyone and slipped from his quarters. Claiming to be overwhelmed by grief he had taken different rooms than his parents had used before. There were lines even he wasn’t willing to cross.

Asgard was still being repaired from the damage done by the elves and there were few guards and fewer people walking the halls. He remembered the way to Fandral’s quarters easily enough. They had usually met there because Loki hadn’t wanted anyone to know. But Sif and the others had known. Had Thor? He had never said anything. 

Loki slipped through the doors and into Fandral’s rooms. It looked like...it looked like his cell had when the guard had given him the news of his mother’s death. If he had had access to alcohol. The strewn bottle and the sharp stench of spilled wine led him to Fandral who sat in a large armchair, facing the window, the curtains closed. Usually it looked out onto the parade street and two years ago, a few hours before Thor’s coronation, he and Fandral had fucked in this very chair.

Dropping the spells from him, Loki approached the chair to see Fandral sitting there. It was a pose of utter abandon. Loki had often seen him like this but because Fandral had been happy, relaxed and not because he was mad with grief. The blonde strands that Loki had run his fingers through so often and had once likened to gold were dull and unkempt. His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot and his movements sluggish.

“I told you to leave me alone”, he slurred when he heard the steps.

“I thought you called for me”, Loki said and Fandral’s head snapped around so fast it was almost funny. He stared at Loki while Loki walked closer until he stopped right in front of Fandral.

“Have I finally drunk enough?” Fandral asked, looking up at him. “Have you come to bring me to Valhalla with you?”

Loki shook his head. “Not yet.” He leaned down and wiped away a tear that was slipping down Fandral’s cheek. “You need to let me go.”

“How can I?” Fandral caught Loki’s hand with his own and nuzzled his palm. “I failed you. And now you’re dead I cannot make up for it.”

“You did not fail me, Fandral. Everything I did was my choice. Dry your tears. My cerements are wet with them and it won’t let me rest.”

Fandral looked even more crestfallen than before. “I didn’t want to cause you more pain.”

“Then live. Go out there and live for the both of us. And when the day comes, thousands and thousands of years from now, I will greet you in Valhalla.”

Fandral looked into his eyes and nodded reluctantly. Loki kissed him, a short, sweet kiss and he found himself regretting that this would be the last time. He turned to go, slowly turning himself invisible as he did but Fandral said, 

“Loki”, and he stopped, turning around. “I loved you.”

Loki smiled. “I know.” And faded completely. He watched Fandral mourn, the grief freshened by seeing Loki again, and battled the urge to do something stupid. He wondered if knowing earlier that Fandral loved him would have changed anything but doubted it.

When Fandral fell asleep, Loki slipped out of the door unnoticed and unseen, befitting for a ghost.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me [ here](http://smaragdbird.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


End file.
